W

This was inspired by a magazine article that Tom Robbins wrote, he was writing a guest piece and they asked him to write about one of his favorite things.  To their surprise I’m sure, he decided to write an entire article about the letter Z…

I always thought it was magnificent that someone could write a whole story talking about a letter.  I mean really, how much could there be to say about a letter in the alphabet?  But it was gripping and made you want to read more to see where he was going to take it, which I’m not entirely sure mine will be but, it’s worth a shot.  I loved his story though, it was poetry.  So, while I can’t necessarily say that the letter W is one of my favorite things, I can say it is one of my favorite letters in the alphabet 🙂

If the alphabet were an amusement park then W would be the roller-coaster ride that draws in the crowds.  Full of ups and downs, peaks and valleys; it will have you lining up for hours, just for the privilege of having it make you scream for 2 minutes.  It is the beginning of the end for the alphabet.  The showboats may hog the spotlight with their ABC’s and XYZ’s, but we know who the real star is.  Always reaching for that which is just out of reach, trying to touch the heavens.  Spreading it’s wings wider than its undersized alphabet siblings.

What sets W apart from those other feeble letters in the alphabet you ask?  Okay, maybe you weren’t asking but I’ll tell you anyway.

How many syllables do those other letters have?  A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z…..notice anything distinct about W?  That’s right, it’s the only letter in the alphabet that has 2 syllables.  That’s because W is a word unto itself….it goes without saying that it’s twice the letter that U is, luckily for me I am writing and not saying, so….

Where would we be without W?  How would we ever ask the fundamental questions?  Who, What, When, Where, Why; the Five W’s.  Then there is that other one that always gets overlooked because they stuck the W at the end…..what was it again?  Oh yes, how could I forget, How.  I mean, can you envision the treatment how would get……if it didn’t have a W in it?  It would be the question nobody asked.  Is there anything more tragic than that?

W is not above taking one for the team, so to speak; willing to remain silent while others take the glory.  Whether they are wreaking havoc or throwing a monkey wrench into the system.  W will keep silent about it, it doesn’t have to draw attention to itself…..even if it did start it. One other thing about W.  It doesn’t get incensed when once in a while words pretend they have W’s in them either.  W recognizes that its just letters being letters.  Trying to be cool by association.  It doesn’t fool anyone, but W is willing to step aside and let them make their futile attempts.

If W was a car it would be a Hummer; using twice as much gas; accelerating half as fast; being bigger than anyone would ever need; and yet, somehow it’s…..just………cool.

If you are in awe, W is right there in the middle of it with you.  W is in the middle of nowhere, anywhere and everywhere all at once.

W is dependable, reliable, strong….industrial strength if you will; and it doesn’t feel the need to pretend it’s something it’s not, whether it’s a big W or a small w…it always looks and behaves the same, not like some other letters it knows………I’m talking about you G…………..or should I say g!  Did I mention how powerful it is?  No word can take W at full strength.  It always has to be watered down, weakened, softened up.  You will never hear a word that can handle the sound that the letter W makes; it’s not a “Double-U-eel”, it’s a “Wheel”.

Have you ever wondered why a letter that looks like two V’s is called a double-U?  Of course you have, who hasn’t?  Stupid question and I’m sorry I insulted you by asking it.  Anyway, my sources tell me that it used to be called a double-V, but since V and W are so juxtaposed as it were, being neighbors and all, W decided to change its name so V wouldn’t develop an inferiority complex.

How many other letters would change their name for you, huh?

W isn’t just cool and kind all at the same time, it’s also sharp…edgy if you will.  Think of a professional athlete who points at the sky after a big touchdown or a key goal……W is like that, except W is pointing at the sky, thanking the lord in bad times as well as good.  He is not a fair-weather follower, he is always on!  God may have created the world in 7 days, but it wasn’t done until he gave it a name……..and that name starts with a W.

Awkward is what happens when 2 W’s are forced to share the same word, their ego’s just can’t handle it.  I mean, W doesn’t make things easy for you, it’s not going out of its way to make your life simple and why should it?  Just think about it.  Have you ever told somebody how to get to a website?  I can hear you now, “You just go to double-u double-u double-u dot top-secret secrets dot com”.   Do you realize you just used a 6 syllable shortcut to say a 3 syllable phrase …..you know, world wide web.  That’s exactly the way W planned it too…..it can be a little narcissistic at times.

You’ve probably heard about the number 23 and how all sorts of events and incidents are directly connected to it.  Strange stories of how things add up to 23, I’ll give you a strange example right now.  My birthday is 11/16/77, which is 1 + 1 + 1 + 6 + 7 + 7 = 23….spooky isn’t it.  What’s that you say, my birthday is actually 11/16/1977?  Well then, 11 + 16  +1 + 9 – 7 – 7 = 23!  That’s what I thought.  Care to take a guess what the 23rd letter in the alphabet is?  I’ll give you a hint……it has 2 syllables.  No…………can’t get it?  Why its W of course.  Once again W allows somebody else to hog all the glory…

This message was brought to you by the number 23 and the letter W.

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6 thoughts on “W

    1. I’m glad you liked it Roger, I think that’s the first time I’ve ever had great and awesome in the same comment. You are too kind.

      The whole alphabet eh, lol.

    1. Thanks Dawn. I’m so happy to hear you enjoyed it. It was fun to write I’ll tell you, although after publishing it, as usual, there are so many things I would have liked to….adjust in it. I just can’t leave well enough alone sometimes, lol. Anyway, thank you again.

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